Today, I shall attempt to answer a question that women have been asking themselves ever since men stopped beating them over the head with clubs and then dragging them off to their caves to the sounds of cheering crowds pronouncing them cavemen and wife.
So would you rather be hit over the head and dragged kicking and screaming into your man's cave, or are you the patient sort who prefers to wait until he pops the question? If you'd rather he knocked you unconscious and claimed you as his, then you're just the sensible kind of reader we hope to attract in this magazine. If you think you'd rather wait, then make sure you think up a few dozen cat names while you're at it, for all the cats that are going to keep you company in your miserably lonely old age.
Don't just take my word for it. Cosmo's with me on this one. So are the authors of 'He's just not that into you'. At least, I think they're with me anyway, since I haven't ever read the book. But like most books, I imagine that you can judge what's in it based on the cover.
I used the incredibly scientific method of averaging some random numbers that popped into my head to come up with how long a guy should take to propose to you before you tell him to go screw himself (politely, of course). It's 1.1932333333333(rounded off) years.
If you've been seeing him for even an instant longer than 1.19323333333333 years, then it's time to call it quits. Go ahead now, make excuses for him, tell me he can't help it, he's a commitmentphobe.
My response to that would be:
As my mom would say, my foot. My grandmother didn't let her use words like ass.
He's only a commitmentphobe because he's not sure he wants to be with YOU. Find yourself another boy. This one's not worth keeping.
P.S. I have proved on my other blog that men are cavemen.
Click here to read it.
Men are cavemen.