Sunday, September 03, 2006

To all you pseudo-gourmet chefs

GARLIC ROLLS

1 pkg. frozen dinner rolls, thawed
1/2 c. butter
Garlic to taste

Roll balls in garlic butter. Pour the rest of garlic butter over the rolls. Place in a bundt pan. Let rise double in size. Bake at 350 degrees until done.


This is NOT a freakin' recipe. If I wanted the easy way out, I'd just buy the damn garlic rolls, instead of buying dinner rolls and then coating them with garlic butter.

Because coating a dinner roll with garlic butter to make a GARLIC roll does NOT constitute cooking. It ranks right alongside stirring dehydrated vegetables and oil from a packet into an instant Thai meal, and then microwaving it for two minutes.

If you want to make, as in really make, garlic rolls, do it from freakin' scratch.

But PLEASE stop deluding yourself into believing that you have cooking skills.

Update: Why the FUCK do people say 'lengthy'?? What's wrong with the word 'long'? If you think lengthy is cooler than long, then you are REALLY fucked up.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wonder at what Indian time you start writing

A and A said...

I tried really hard to think up a funny non-sequitur but my grey cells are still trying to absorb all the beer I just consumed. Does this count?

Raindrop said...

Imhunt, precisely at fourty four and a half seconds past 17:53.

WishfulThinker, who gets drunk on BEER??

Anonymous said...

Nah, it's not that time.
Behalf is also a screwed up word

Drunken Master said...

To answer your question to WishfulThinker, I get drunk on beer. A couple of keg handstands and a few funnels are quite enough to do the trick. Frank the Tank, man, Frank. The. Tank!!!

Why be hating?
I take Lengthy to mean long-drawn, i.e. long in a bad way. See, it's a word that represents something fucked up, not the other way around.

Anonymous said...

if you want my glorious company on your blog, please change your profile pic

A and A said...

One: I never said I was drunk. I just failed to mention that I was happily buzzed.

Two: I can and I have gotten absolutely plastered on beer. So there.

Madame Mahima said...

okaaaay i may be wrong but im sensing some INTENSE negativity here..
put down the hate-orade girl!

pfft! lengthy! ha i never GOT that word man. *waves hands vaguely*

*small voice* you scare me when you use your mean voice
mummy.

Raindrop said...

Imhunt, we all have words we hate, don't we?

Drunken, oh, I was just teasing Wishful. I love watching guys outdrink each other just to prove a point. I've seen people secretly spill their shots on the floor and then beg me not to tell anyone.

Yeah, they're used in different contexts, but I'm just being random here.

me, if you want to read stories about you on my blog, then you'll stay, regardless.

Wishful, just teasing!:) I can get drunk on TWO beers. I'm not a big drinker at all, except very rarely. Like last night. And the night before. No, no trend there.

Mahima, awww. Don't be scared, kiddo. I was just mad because I couldn't find a proper recipe! All I saw was, make garlic rolls with other rolls. That was ANNOYING! I'm incapable of being seriously mean, although it's a skill I'd like to learn someday.

Kay Richardson said...

Yes. I love a roll.

Anonymous said...

No we don't, you know it

Nath said...

How do you make a garlic roll? Easy, throw it down a hill.

Sigh. I don't know whether I'm more disturbed by the bad grammar of that joke, or the utter lack of humour.

Drunken Master said...

Those people who toss their shots might be male, but they're not men.

Anonymous said...

You make an update with 'really', 'fuck', 'long' and 'lengthy' - to a post about dinner rolls :-/. WHAT is that you want to say?

Raindrop said...

Kay, err, what kind of roll exactly?

Imhunt, yes we do, stop denying it!

Nath, I laughed when I read that. Well, okay, smirked. Same thing.

Drunken, yeah. It's funny when they do that though.

Dodo, I reserve the right to do that. The evil censor board can't do a thing. Hah!