I've decided I want a Ph.D.
Here are five of my top reasons.
5. Everyone else getting one these days.
4. I need a title to compensate for the fact that I'm not six feet tall.
3. The words Dr. Raindrop will lend credibility to my planned Cosmo article titled 'How not to make a complete fucking ass of yourself in bed',
subtitled 'Let's not forget the keys to those handcuffs, kiddies!'.
2. Heck, I can even use it to lend credibility to my arguments with my boyfriend. 'I have a Ph.D. and you don't. So I'm right and you suck!'
1. Everybody wants to do a woman with a Ph.D.
But apparently they don't give you a Ph.D. for sitting on your ass and being a shallow bitch. Fuckers! Now I'll have to choose some shitty topic like 'Are hunger pangs pangier when you're broke and living in a fairly decent sized third world city?'
P.S. Feminism post coming up next! Seriously.
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25 comments:
Hah! But i have a brain, Pinkie - and you don't!
going by your comment history i'd say most people would do you even without a PhD..
and out of curiosity, what would you do a PhD in?
Your planned article for Cosmo has already been submitted by me to Maxim with real life incidents.
The "Everybody wants to do a woman with a PhD" comment is true in that men think those women are so desperate, even they have a shot. Either that or the PhD chick has to be Christmas Jones. (I figure you're not in the desperate mould)
I guess you have to go for one though, since the title of "*Master * of Disaster" has been assigned to me for a while now...
@sac: comment history? dude, what are you talking about? random trolls comment about anything.
don't you guys want to see some pictures!? i'm really curious.
Oi!!! That is so bloody unfair, I tell you. Totally, completely, comprehensively misinformed too!
Nobody wants to do a woman *with* a Ph.D. I mean seriously, isn't it a turn-off to have the degree you've received with you in bed, while doing a woman? Doesn't that kind of be, I don't know, a hindrance?
Oh wait... did I get that wrong? My bad!
@ DM,
What? WHAT? W.H.A.T?? (see what I did there?) *YOU* were given the Master of Disaster title? I thought I was the reigning champ! I demand a rematch!
The only reason ppl surrounding a woman who is getting a PhD want to do the said woman is because those ppl would probably do anyone, anytime... It is that *sad*.
The Boyfriend, if you had a brain, you'd spell Pinky right.
Mediocretes, I plead guilty to occasional geekiness. I think I should handle a Ph.D. just fine, because I can start dressing badly and quit grooming myself. If I stop bathing, do you think I'd win the Nobel prize?
sac, I'd do a Ph.D. in anything that requires minimal effort and research. :)
Drunken, I meant non-ugly chick with a Ph.D., of course. Men, being men, will do any woman. But a non-ugly/non-stupid woman with a Ph.D. is a keeper, I'd imagine. (Would the ring you're planning to surprise me with -whenever, no pressure- be more expensive if I had a Ph.D., Mediocretes?)
And you know the trouble with Christmas.. But then I guess that's more Christmas's problem than yours.
Mediocretes, everyone knows you're my boyfriend so quit the dumb act.
sriram, you evil word twister. :) I imagine you could incorporate it in some kinky game. One would hope it's laminated though.
born a libran, it's not sad to do anyone/anytime. I respect a man who grabs any opportunity that comes his way. :)
mediocretes, it's hard to groom myself without your help. The hairy warts on my back are hard to reach. And you mean ill-fitting jeans and a large t-shirt are NOT considered formal dinner wear? I was wearing my CLEAN sneakers too!
Hehe... don't you know about this interpretation of PhD:
PhD: Pretty Huge D**k
Now, reread the post with this in mind ;).
So, are you a moderate feminist, or a Feminist Nazi? Feminist Nazis being the ones who think that every man is a perverted SOB whose D should be chopped off.
And yeah Raindrop, what's up?
ughhh you're one of those hardworking types arent you. don't lie to me raindrops. you're not as laidback as you seem you sneaky woman.
having said all that, if you're indeed looking to get a PhD, good luck in your endeavour!
You've turned me off you for the rest of my life. Seriously.
I was banking on the stereotype for my joke, but it obviously didn't work.
Almost any non-ugly, non-stupid girl is a keeper. Almost.
Dodo: So, are you a moderate feminist, or a Feminist Nazi? Feminist Nazis being the ones who think that every man is a perverted SOB whose D should be chopped off.
*** Pedant mode activated ***
Well, technically, a feminist Nazi is a hypernationalist antisemite who just happens to support women's rights. Chopping the squishy bits off men is strictly optional.
*** Pedant mode off ***
But, yeah, are you (no, not you; you) seriously considering getting a Ph.D.? Good luck. You'll need this.
Lets not get our undies in a knot here because of the possibilty of a PhD and an open invitation to do someone...(does a double take)
Really does your statement translate to my inference.
Well whatever..
(could you have a thesis to figure out a random yet completely sane way of have word verifications. Something that keeps 'words' like wolxyxtk away. Normal stuff like kjuuyhgjk is fine but wolxyxtk. Bad for a Vogon.)
All ye brilliant analytical folk have missed the following point: By the time Raindrop gets her Ph.D., she'll be one old hag, and will probably need that Ph.D. to get laid (I really don't know how that works, but I'll go with it).
:p
Awww... Raindrop. You know this is the evil-ogre-blog me :).
Dodo, I'm neither a feminist nor a nazi. Do I believe that men and women should be treated equally? Am I pro-abortion? Do I believe that women are entitled to the same rights as men? Do I believe women should have any career they choose? Absolutely! The reason I don't call myself a feminist, however, is because men and women, while equal, are not the same. Feminist theory tends to ignore innate differences, putting it all down to social conditioning.
And I get wary of people who use the term feminazi. It conjures up images of anti-abortion/anti-stem cell research fundamentalists who advocate obedience and submission to men. That's fucking insane.
And I already have your idea of a Ph.D. My boyfriend IS (note:do not confuse IS with HAS) a pretty huge dick.
Mahima, ask my lurking boyfriend how lazy he tihnks I am. I think I'm one of the laziest people I know. In the academic world, I strive for the perfect balance. I put in the absolute minimum effort required to keep me off academic probation. :)
me, we'll see about that on monday, yeah?
drunken, yeah. We all eventually just settle, or delude ourselves into believing that we're not REALLY settling, and that our partners are actually perfect. Love and other psychotropic drugs can bring on such delusions.
Nath, I welcome any and all forms of pedantry on my blog. I'm already in a Ph.D. program, it's just that I'd decided not to go through with one. Now I think I might. I might just end up basing my decision on a cointoss. And I have those cartoons all over my little cubicle. They, along with coffee, keep me semi-sane. :)
Imhunt, that's an interesting suggestion. I'm definitely discussing that with my advisor.
Anonymous, stop being schizophrenic. Someone's going to lock you up dude. It might be me. And if you stop laying me when I'm 70, I'll just find myself a younger man who's up to the task.
hmm... what about supermodels? i thought men are after supermodels...
how about a supermodel getting a PhD? what would that situation be like?
And ya- telling off your bf when your a PhD holder is the tops- not that i would know of course- and so many people think PhD's are for men are women should be happy with their bachelor degree- bah! MCP's i say!!!!!
Nish, you're right about the bachelor degree thing. But they ought to call it spinster degree.
The more educated women get, the more immoral, "loose" they get. Especially good little Indian girls. Someone with PhD might as well be a slut. But I kinda like my women that way.
Raindrop: I thought you told me you liked my schizo act because it made you feel like you're sleeping with a different man every time.
Who's Mahima, btw? She comments an awful lot on your blog. She's gorgeous!
everyone is getting one, damn them. I can't imagine that there could possibly be any topics left to write about. [but apparently there are, and I never thought of them, Damn again]
I feel so under educated. And i barely scraped through my torturous dissertation which was as dry as a cracker in the sahara.
I have a feeling Madam mahima will be banned from commenting now.
Scritch, I love you. Go figure.
Nish, I think supermodels are rare enough that most men would do them even if they had the IQ of the average cabbage. Victoria Zdrok may be a male fantasy, I don't know. She's a pornstar with a Ph.D. What do you think, men? Would you do her?
Schizo, are you calling me a slut? I will not have you addressing me that way. It's DR. Slut to you, asshole. And stop acting like a kindergartner.
Scritch, try something like 'Effect of low humidity on roach homosexuality' or 'Discrimination against Peter Pan fans who wear Gucci shoes.' Actually, I'll probably do the Gucci shoes thing. Oh, Mediocretes just likes being that annoying kid from nursery rhymes who kissed the girls and made them cry. Was it Tommy Thin? He's a regular kindergarten villain.
Mediocretes, how do you get rid of poverty?:)
Mediocretes, thank you for your insight into the mysterious workings of the male mind. And your request was given much consideration before it was finally denied.
I love gayass feminism.
I am now actually intrigued by the idea of homosexual roaches.
which is slightly disturbing.
Yes, how do you know that the normal roaches you see humping at night are not in fact homosexual? It's fascinating, particularly because I have no idea how to tell a male roach from a female roach. I once had a pet roach, and was forced to give it a unisex name.
Unrelated, but it got run over.
I am ready to do you even without a Ph.D. !!!
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