Yeah, I'm still stuck on the hugging thing. I miss Bangalore boy hugs. Their hugs are big, strong and manly, like the Bangalore boy who drinks lots of beer and listens/headbangs to a lot of metal. Bangalore boys don't hug boys. They hug women. Their hugs are VERY different from the delicate Latin embrace/cheek kiss.
Oh, but I don't miss air kissing at all. Who the fuck invented that??
I've always wondered why women feel the need to name their first borns (all in their heads, of course) the MOMENT they start dating a guy, even if they have NO intention of ever doing more than just fooling around with him.
So here comes my confession for the day. It's highly embarrassing, but I'm a masochist AND an exhibitionist, so obviously I've just got to make this public. I'm a last-name-trier. I meet a guy, and then I imagine how my first name would sound with his last name. I do it the same way I imagine how a jacket that I have no intention of buying would look on me. It means nothing at all. Seriously.
The ex and I are presently engaged in an argument about my height. I think the most accurate measure of my height comes from taking my flatmate's height, knocking off an inch because she tends to exaggerate ever so slightly, and then adding half an inch to that to account for the fact that I'm slightly taller than her. His method, clearly flawed, makes me .75 inches shorter than my method. It involves the use of a tape measure. How boringly unimaginative. How typically male. Oh, and in his words, height is relative. 'You're shorter than the Empire State Building, but you're taller than grass.'
I'm taller than grass, HAH! Up yours, grass! Well, most species(/phylae/whatthefuckever) of grass anyway.
Gotta love the dude.
Update: I've been asked by the ex to 'fix my blog without much ado' or I would 'lose my most important visitor', because he was quoted out of context. I agree, the Empire State Building comment was out of context, so I'm adding a disclaimer.
Disclaimer: Ex has been quoted out of context just to make my story more interesting. I can't help it, I lead a boring life. Men are my only source of amusement.
Another update: Ex thinks I still haven't 'fucking fixed it!' He wanted me to add context, so I'm adding context. He made the Empire State comment in response to my statement, 'I'm not THAT short!' Oh, that reminds me. Ex is really cute. Also one of the smartest men I know. If you're a really hot woman, give me a shout, and I'll try to set you up with him.
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14 comments:
So what are you going to hug first - the Empire State Building, or grass? I say you go for grass, given the security at the Empire State Building because of the 9/11 thing.
And how does your first name sound with Grossman?
Last name trier. Is that with the post marriage prefix? Some desi boys here hug girls even if they don't want to be hugged.
(Very difficult word verification, had to do it again. I'm a certified bot now. Watch me go boink everytime I try to hug anyone.)
Nope. It ain't working where I come from. I'm sure it has something to do with something I did to my browser without me knowing. Gah. And what is it with girls who want to set their exes up? Oh I forgot, your'e a masochist. :O Muhahahahahahaha!!! *WT makes a speeedy exit [poof!!])
*shouts for hot, nice exboyfriend* Isn't that an extinct breed? I don't do the last name thing, or the baby naming thing, but I do rehearse the whole, "So how did you meet?" question, complete with sickening cheek kisses and hand holding. Sigh. But I think it's sweet that you and your ex are still friends, I don't think mine even knows what i DO anymore.
Have you planned your wedding out, Raindrop? Who to invite, who not to, who to call just out of spite?
Most girls I know have all this set up in their head. The two that don't, well...
Try not to hug trees. I hate tree huggers. I fucking HATE them.
im a hot woman.
set me up! set me up!
(um..is he taller than 5'9? is he funny? is he rich?)
im a last name tryer too!
Dodo, I wouldn't HUG the grass, I'd smoke it.
I've never thought of Grossman, but Grossman sounds like a nice Jewish lawyer. I'd do/marry/whatever a Grossman. Seriously. :)
Imhunt, no post marriage prefix, although it would sound interesting. Me, a Mrs. Something. Wow!
Yeah, I've known a few desis like that, I'm afraid..
Wishful, I only did that so his attention would be diverted, because I didn't really plan to 'fix' my blog. Needless to say, he was very flattered and didn't tell me to make any more changes to my post. And they say women are easy.
Em, yeah, but that's just as bad. Female hormones really do give us a lot of grief. Nature's such an asshole.
This ex is my favorite and most recent ex. You can have him, but if you decide to live with him, I'm decorating your house. It's a deal the ex and I made a long time ago. :)
Drunken, I've planned my wedding only to the extent that I know I want the whole red sari thing. (And strangely enough, maybe some Jewish chair dancing!) I haven't decided who I'm NOT inviting though..damn, now I'm going to HAVE to think about that. Thanks a lot, jerk!
Sriram, I've said this before. Nature's an asshole. Nature can go screw him/herself for all I care. I'm not hugging any trees. I think we need more guns and bombs.
Mahima, yes, yes, and potentially yes. You can have him, but you'd have to hire me as your interior decorator if things get serious.
Name trying rocks. What are YOUR thoughts on Grossman?
indian hugs rule. except the ones on the 8.30 andheri-churchgate slow. unless that's your sort of thing.
as an aside, british personal bubbles are grossly inflated. closer than half a metre and you're being rude.
unless lubricated at a club, of course, whereupon it can shrink to, well, the thickness of a birthday suit.
"How boringly unimaginative. How typically male."
Yep. That's us.
"... I'd smoke it."
Then you shouldn't think about Grossman. Go for Towelie!
Sac, you're right. Those hugs, I can do without. HALF A METRE! What do those Brits think, that they still own half the world or something?
Unforgiven, what's the deal with all that fucking precision, nobody needs it in the real world! Even NASA tends to be lax with metres and feet. You lose a shuttle or two, big shit!
Dodo, no Towelie for me, you may keep him all to yourself.
Miller Lite Man Law #281 - Never get between a woman and her wedding plans.
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