My life just lost its Amish seal of approval last night. But give me a week or so and I'll be all Amish again.
I am definitely an exhibitionist (the events of last night are a testament to this), but I wonder how much of that is blog-induced. My blog was born from exhibitionism, and now it feeds it, making it stronger. The one recurring thought I had running through my head last night was, 'I just HAVE to blog this!'
Here's the gist of it anyway. I'm exercising tremendous restraint here, in not including the good bits! So enjoy my little story. Mom, if you're reading this, of COURSE I'm making all of this up!
Alcohol.
The words 'de donde eres' thrown at me. Me trying desperately to remember what that meant. An apology. 'Sorry, I thought you were latina'. My pathetic claim that I WAS latina, dammit. 'Porque yo hablo espanol! Si, si, hablo espanol! Pero no comprendo UNA PALABRA! I speak Spanish, damn you! I learned it for FOUR WHOLE WEEKS! But I just don't understand it, that's all!' And because sanity finally prevailed, I shut the hell up before I slipped into further denial about my knowledge of the language.
He wasn't hot, but I really didn't care. I knew his name but that's more than I needed to know. Dance floor. Flirting in a strange language, I was bored out of my mind. The ensuing madness. A few shocked stares. Still at it until I hear him say the word 'bed'. I beat a hasty retreat. Yup, the Amish kicked in right on time.
The only thing that embarrasses me is that I might have potentially made a few alcohol induced grammar mistakes while speaking not-so-hot-guy's language. I desperately hope I didn't!
P.S. If you're a science type, go to my other blog. It's brand new and it's cutting edge.
Update: Do people just sit around waiting for playground bullies to insult them, so they can go home crying to mommy? Mommy, he drew an insulting picture of me! Mommy, he was rude to me! Mommy, they don't want the ten commandments! But I WANT THEM on PUBLIC BUILDINGS, or else I'll FORGET them!! Mommy, Aerosmith put MY hero's picture on a CD cover! That's RUDE!
Kids, if I were your mommy, I'd give you all a hard spanking.
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16 comments:
Ok, so whats the problem? Grammar or lack of action? All this whisky is probably clouding me judgement...
Why... the... desperation?
One the Internets, female exhibitionists are addressed with a not-so-pleasant term, so you should be careful.
"Do people just..."
Yes, especially people who are born with sand in their asses. Instead of clearing the sand, they keep staring at the sky.
I hope your kids would be strong enough to endure your motherly 'love' that is currently flooding your blog.
Wishful, tomato juice is a good cure for that. :)
Dodo, I have no clue. What are they called?
And what are you talking about, I absolutely ADORE kids! I can't wait to have kids. :P
He wouldn't have cared if you'd have hit the springs with him. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand his words?
It can't be the Amish in you, admit it, you were just being the goody goody Bharatiya Naari wishing you learned how to wear a great pallu!
What are they called?
This.
I'm not implying anything, so please don't curse me :(.
Alas, poor Dodo. I knew him, Horatio.
hmm R, for an exhibitionist, i see a high ratio of text-only posts here..
Drunken, hehe, I know. Men are cute, they'll do anything to get a girl in bed. Except what a girl really wants.
And hey, Bharatiya naaris aren't as 'virtuous' as they're cracked up to be. It takes all sorts, but I DO know what you mean.:) i am good homely god fearing spiritual vegetarian girl who thinks sex is against indian culture, but i'll endure it with much disgust just so i can have kids so people don't talk about how i've been married for 3 full months and am still not pregnant.
Dodo, it takes a lot more than that to offend me. And as for attention whoring, SHE is the kind of woman I'd like to be when I grow up.
Nath, come on now! I'm a nice person, I really am! Do I have to punch you in the face to prove it? :)
Dead End Boy, my exhibitionism manifests itself in many forms. I'm the sort of person who would love to make out in public in Saudi Arabia. It's a huge thrill because it's punishable by beheading! I'm planning to put up a picture of myself soon where I look like a really hot simian.
And here's her page, with pictures!
Ooookaaay, when are you going to grow up? I'd happily donate 1% of my bank money for your 'job' ;).
"i am good homely god..."
Raindrop, tell the truth, you've been secretly hunting for potential 'catches' on desi matrimonial sites, haven't you?
And can someone please help me in getting the fucking 'homely' word banned from the desi vocabulary. It is the most disgusting word in the whole universe - which even the Vogons fear to utter.
P.S. I feel totally gay calling you Raindrop :(.
You 'shied' away from action, fair enough. The poor chap must have felt a little undone. Did you as well?
Anyway my blog has decided to serve IE users again. Just a bout of incompatible karma.
We aren't cute, we're easy. And simple. And hassle free. OK, hassle free up until a wife comes into view to put a spanner in the works.
aiyoh.
this dodo dude looks familiar
anyway who need language when you flirt anyway..thats such a myth
be an exhibitionist! look we bloggers are exhibitionist (those who deny it are sad and bullshitting themselves) by nature..so go ahead babe
viva la exhibitonism
woo!
dead end boy huh? :)
sounds tim burtonesque - a cross between oyster boy and matchstick girl.
hmm i could get to like it :)
and hot simian pictures shall be awaited.
dodo, thank you, but I'm not getting a 'job'. You're welcome to donate money towards my home in the Italian riviera though.
You can call me Ms. Al Hijab if you think that's better.
imhunt, I shied away from further action. The poor chap seems to be doing fine, I just bumped into him today. It was awkward, but he seemed happy to see me. And yup, I noticed your blog now works! :P
drunken, that's why I like men. :) Wives can be fun too, if they're crazy wild bitches who would do *anything* for their men, including agree to threesomes. Like this woman. But this story ended sadly, because he had his threesome and she left him for the stripper they hired.
Mahima, yo, busy woman! University keeping you tied up?
True, just let your bawd-ay do the talking, eh? Yup, vive la exhibitionism!!
Sac, not Tim Burton inspired, I'm afraid. I was thinking of the Pet Shop Boys song 'West End Girls' actually. And your blog title.
Raindrop:
Nath, come on now! I'm a nice person, I really am! Do I have to punch you in the face to prove it? :)
Hmm. Anti-science blogs, punching people to show them how nice you are...
Methinks somebody's found religion.
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