Now there are some things about me that I would never reveal to anyone. Well, unless I were married to them or in a very serious relationship with them. Because some things are just too embarrassing to reveal to the world, sort of like admitting to writing Vogon poetry. But it's amazing how old friends can sometimes pick up on stuff like that.
An old friend guessed something about me that I always thought I hid very well. He said it wasn't obvious at all, but he had always strongly suspected it. Now I'm not telling anyone what it is, even if you ask REALLY nicely. You'd just laugh, and I'm not having that.
So anyway, in the spirit of revealing deep, dark secrets, here's some Vogon poetry. It's rather angsty, as you can see.
Gliddlebooped poopmeister shrooble
I blaggerwormed the woggleguzz
Krooptory. Measly krooptory!
Damn those wagglechests
Fookerfliggs on fleeglefests
Krooptory. Blasted krooptory!
But blizzling blaggleblazes
I wanted them smishtered
Sequestered and schlestered.
In that fabled fruzzled frunxning
As only quibbers flound, but failed.
T'was krooptory. Schneaving krooptory!
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29 comments:
I have never heard of vogon poetry before, I love poetry and I gotta say in a weird angst-filled-nonsensicle kinda way I liked it.:)
Krooltok neversham of the ghuslik crolspam
Manny, it's awesome. Google it. better yet, read Doug Adams.
Imhunt, brooglewurst in heeglepoof!
Und ja, du auch?
While the first thing that came to mind was Hitchhikers Guide, for some reason I also thought of the Oompa Loompas. Wonder why.
Impressive. My favourite piece of Vogon verse comes from the Infocom game:
Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk!
Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs.
Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt!
Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose.
Ich lerne deutsch und wie man spricht und schreibt
Okaaayyy...Who would have guessed...pretty girl like you and Vogon poetry. *sigh* :D
vogon poetry .....i have never heard about it too....ya day by day i realise not many are the things i know about ...
interesting though?
and the friend well ....mmmm...
Ash
How long are you gonna hide behind the drudgertolling presteinktons?
The other 'attractive' thing about the Vogons is the forms: forms to get forms, forms to fill forms and forms to submit forms! Reminds me of my early days in the US when I was writing my address on so many damn forms. I was having nightmares in which I would see my address float in the 'A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy...' style of Star Wars.
Drunken, I had to google Oompa Loompas. I never did read Dahl as a kid..except for a short story where a guy likes collecting human fingers.
Nath, I like that although my favorite is freddled gruntbuggly. What can I say, I'm a traditionalist in these matters. I tend to rely rather heavily on alliterative effect, don't I?
Imhunt, nur so dass du Texte von Rammstein verstehen kannst? Ihr seid, meiner Meinung nach, sehr fremde Leute. Gibt es keine normale Leute hier?
Wishful, a girl's gotta follow her heart's desires. You should try it too, you know. Writing Vogon poetry, I mean.
Ash, ahhh! You're the only person here decent enough to bring up the other deep dark secret that I'm just DYING to reveal. Men just take everything at face value, dumbfucks that they are..
But I still refuse to reveal my secret in the interest of keeping this blog sane/sensible/vanilla/legal. Actually, is it ANY of those things?
Dodo, dude, are you insulting my presteinktons? How DARE you, sir!
In all honesty, I've filled far fewer forms in the US. In India, everything univ. related had to be filled out in QUADRUPLICATE!
So, what was it? (asks very nicely)
sriram, I see you men are finally catching up.
Hah, can't tell. Feel free to guess. The more absurd, the better. :)
Looks like football position acronyms might also qualify as Vogon for you Raindrop. Good luck trying to follow it.
Football is played with a spherical ball. Not a funny shaped thing. The game you're referring to would be AMERICAN football.
How about we just call it AmFoo? Used that code when I was in (grad) school to organize games...
ooo that vogon poetry..it MOVED me, raindrops! it moved me enough to want to kill myself :P
oh come onnnn u cant leave us hanging like that!
i promise i wont laugh!!!!!
teelllll *whine*
Isn't American 'Football' the game where giant-dudes-in-tights try to molest each other in front of beef-eating fat dudes?
And yeah, I've 'cracked' your secret: You are T-X - sent by the Vogons to destroy all 'normal' people on this planet. Yes, I do have the laser-vision to see faces covered by hair.
Now where's my trophy?
Do I know you from surreal summerland? Who told you about the Rammstein bit? *looks calmly over the shoulder, draws in the fumes*
Dodo: And yeah, I've 'cracked' your secret: You are T-X - sent by the Vogons to destroy all 'normal' people on this planet.
Naw, too obvious. The truth, I'll wager, is something infinitely more devious. More ineffable. It quite possibly involves ducks.
(I have a lot of experience dealing with conspiracies.)
Reminds me of Alex's reaction to this:
There was me, and my three droogs, and we sat in the Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with this poetry, this vogon poetry that seems a mix of vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we think sharpens you up and makes you wonder wtf is it with this vogon devichkas.
Drunken, Amfoo's fine by me. I'm just glad baseball isn't called Amcrick.
Mahima, writing poetry that makes people want to snuff it is my only G/U rated talent. But it IS an amazing talent, isn't it? The deep, dark, dirrrrty secret stays a secret. I'll give you a hint, it doesn't involve banned substances. At least, they're not banned in some small island nations.
Here's your trophy, Dodo, to encourage you in your voyeuristic quest. Also, I'm flattered.
A little something for you, Imhunt.
For you, Nath.
Jhantu, Burgess may not like you, but I extend you a very warm welcome nonetheless. A little something, from me to your fave girl Jenna.
Lies, lies, lies! All lies! I've already tried them, and they DON'T work.
I finally manage to flatter somebody after 25.5 years of effort, and all I get is a pair of lousy X-RAY GOGS. What an unfair world :(:(..
Umm... you killed someone, cut them up into a thousand pieces and then mixed those pieces in concrete and tossed that into a lake?
(That absurd enough? I'm already terrible at making guesses and now...)
Aww Dodo. How about a nice BMW or something?
Sriram, if you're the kind of guy who'd laugh at something like that, then we're more alike than I thought.
Spread all the attention over the 7 planets and you'd have enough soil to terraform each, except Venus.
Nihil(ist) hahaha. Nevermore.
Ooh Ohh, I know!!! Sex change operation! Wait, maybe I'm reading too many John Mark Karr news reports...
Imhunt, well, if you say so. But you *do* know that too much of that stuff can be damaging, don't you?
Drunken. It's absurdly funny, I'll give you that. The answer, though, is no. Boring, huh?
X-ray goggles, nihilist confectionaries, disappearing civil rights, oversized underclothes.
Ah, it's all coming together now. You're planning to launch yourself into the National Archives and Records Administration using a catapult constructed with the gum and wBra, to steal the Declaration of Independence!
Diabolical. Though I still haven't figured out where the ducks come in.
Or maybe ducks are just a clever little subterfuge.
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